I’m fairly sure none of y’all remember the time I got drunk at a friend’s house in the fall &accidentally fell in love with a boy who had a girlfriend over the course of the evening. (he is a huge doofus/math major, recited shakespeare &talked to me about stories until sunrise &loaned me his copy of watership down, &when I fell asleep reading it on the couch he took off my glasses &put a blanket over me). he is my star-crossed lover &after telling my friends “oh SCL &I fell in love, it is very tragic” for months, they finally saw us together &were like “oh wow, you weren’t kidding,” because we are big doofuses around each other &laugh too hard at each other’s jokes &sneak glances at each other all the time.
anyway, he doesn’t drink much, but tonight he had a couple shots for our friend’s birthday &joined us at the trashy dance bar, &when we found ourselves standing alone near the water cooler he leaned over &said, “you’re very pretty.” because I am a huge cunt I responded, “yes. I am,” but then I added “I think you’re pretty, too,” because it’s true &I couldn’t do what I normally would do in this situation which is, idek, get hella flirtatious &try to make shit happen. because, you know, extremely long-term girlfriend whom he loves.
(I am a firm believer that you can really love the person you’re with, &then still sometimes meet somebody amazing &know, wow, I would be really great with this person if we’d met at another time.)
but then he took it like I was being precious with him (“right, I’m soo darling!” in a happy, doofy, “I see what you did there” voice) &I just don’t like people thinking I meant something I didn’t, so I told him “I didn’t say you were darling, I just said you were pretty because I didn’t know what else would be appropriate to say to someone who has a girlfriend” &he said “ahh.. whatever you really think.” &even though in my head I am like “you are in a silly long-distance relationship with someone you love but rarely see &have been dating since high school, time to move on to bigger&better&newer things!” it turns out I am the kind of classy bitch who just says, “what I really think is that you’re really awesome &that it’s too bad you have a girlfriend,” &then walks away without stealing so much as a kiss.
but now I feel very vindicated that I am not in fact the only one in on this whole star-crossed bullshit love thing, which means I totally win the night.